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January 23rd, 2005


_seraphina_
09:17 pm
There you go, all nicely beta´d. I but all suggested changes between parentheses and also in red but i don´t think red is going to show up on here. oh well, here you go.

Beta´d versionCollapse )

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July 13th, 2004


_seraphina_
10:05 am
beta'dCollapse )

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_seraphina_
09:19 am
betaCollapse )

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July 12th, 2004


deathkillsme
07:03 pm
"That was my favorite hat, Jack." Will seemed quite content with glaring at the older pirate. Tearing his stare from Jack, he began poking the water logged piece of fabric with the tip of his blade.

"An' a very nice hat, at that." The captain of the Black Pearl was cautiously avoiding striking range.

"Of all the... Don't you even think about running away! I'm not done with you." A low growl punctuated Will's command.

"I am Captain Jack Sparrow, whelp. I don't run." Jack relaxed his stance in a show of defiance before continuing. "I retreat." Quickly turning, he 'retreated' to his cabin, arms flailing around as if to aid him by swimming through the breeze.

Not bothering to follow his captain, Will continued to examine what had become of his favorite hat, his only hat. What was once a well crafted means of blocking the sun's blindingly hot rays was now holding a lovely array of fish carcasses.

"At least I'll have a good supper tonight." Will murmured as he pulled at the broken feather still attached to the brown fabric.
Current Mood: accomplished

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May 13th, 2004


deathkillsme
01:46 am
Of course, it didn't occure to me that even if you did read it the first time through and then did a beta reading, you would still get distracted. Ignore that question then.

Oy.

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April 22nd, 2004


_seraphina_
08:41 pm
part 16 (and yes it is 16) betareadCollapse )

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April 11th, 2004


_seraphina_
07:50 pm - you've been beta'd!
This feels so familiar. The tug of consciousness as it pulls me from this dreamless sleep. I want to stay in that darkness forever, but they aren’t letting me. I can hear Anna-Maria’s voice again, just like before. The only difference is that this time I know what I’m waking up to.

It seems useless.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well ‘s about time ye woke up.”

Your concern is overwhelming.

“How long was I out for this time?”

As opposed to last time, just in case you didn’t pick up on that.

“Since last night. Ye gave us quite a scare. Had a professional take a look at ye. The doc said ye would be fine with some rest. Didn’t go into much detail about what was wrong with ye. Just let me know if ye start coughing up blood again. Oh, and yer shoulder was dislocated.”

“Well I would like to know what goes on with my body, even if some crackpot doctor is the one telling me.”

“He’s not ‘ere. He left during the night. Was the only one that we could find in such a hurry that wouldn’t go to the authorities.” Anna-Maria sighed, she knew she wasn’t going to get very far at the moment.

“Gena… she’s dead?” My voice was void of emotion, probably because the rest of me was as well.

“Aye.” She gave a sigh filled with sadness. I had forgotten how close the two had gotten in such a short time. It must have been nice to have another woman to talk to after both had been surrounded by men and imbeciles for so long.

“And Alex?” He lost his best friend, his only friend.

“He’s taking it rather hard.”

I would think so.

There was a shuffling noise coming from the corner of the room. Jack had been listening from a chair hidden in the shadows.

“Jack.” I nodded at him in a less than friendly greeting.

He looked at me, showing about as much emotion as I felt at the moment. “I have to talk to you. About the letter.” He sounded so sure of himself.

“Sure, why not? It’s not like ('as if' sounds less modern there instead of 'like') I have somewhere to be.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack sent Anna-Maria out of the room, leaving us alone together.

“This didn’t work out the way I had planned.”

Nothing ever does.

Jack’s eyes stared at me coldly. It wasn’t the Jack I was used to. “You were saying goodbye.” I nodded. “I thought you were going to kill yourself.”

“It was a possibility.”

“Is it still?” He stared at me, trying to probe my thoughts.

“Yes.” I replied confidently, this time I knew the answer and I wasn’t afraid to give it.

“Why? You promised you wouldn’t leave me.” Jack had stopped trying to dig into my mind and was now looking through me.

“And what did you do to me? You made me feel. I let you. Then you hurt me, not even a few moments after.”

The truth is so much easier.

“I’m sorry.” He’s words were barely audible.

“It’s too late for that.”

He was hurt by that comment. I didn’t care. I wanted him to feel what I did that day. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Don’t worry. You don’t have to. There is nothing to fix.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Are you done talking to him?

I had hoped you were gone.

No such luck.

I don’t rely on luck.

Isn’t that interesting? So, how has life been treating you?

Considering I wouldn’t be alive if I had listened to you, it’s still pointless.

Are you reconsidering?

I guess. Don’t push me, I’ll decide on my own.

All right. Does this mean you’re not angry with me anymore?

Of course I’m angry with you. You tried to use me to get what you want(wanted).

It wasn’t what I wanted, it was what we wanted.(;) To (to) be free. I thought you understood that.

I’ll never be free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Stop looking at me like that.” It really is annoying when you do that. Foul pirate.

You are a pirate.

I’m sorry, did you want to come out here and say something?

Well actually…

NO! Don’t even think about it.

“I’m only trying to help you, Will.” I forgot Jack was even here.

“Would you stop saying that! Really, it is quite irritating.”

Jack looked at me for a moment before lowering his head and raising his brow. “I don’t know what else to say to you. I just want things to be the way they were.”

Something’s different. What is it?

Don’t you love the smell of rum in the morning?

Would you please refrain from interrupting my thoughts? No, I do not love the smell of rum in the morning, especially when someone reeks of it.

Oh, and who would that be?

Who else? I can smell the alcohol from over…

At a loss for words my loquacious one?

So he would like things to be the way they were. “So would I Jack. So would I.”

~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

“Well, ‘ow much does this ‘urt?” Anna(-)Maria poked the large bruise on my stomach, causing me to cringe from the pain.

“Wonderful(.) Never better. It always felt like someone just impaled me with a large dinner knife.”

Smirking, she continued looking over my unclothed torso. “It ‘s lookin’ much better, if I must be sayin’.”

“Must you?” It doesn’t feel like it is getting any better. “So, when did Jack stop drinking?” Right to the point.

Annamaria (Anna-Maria) shifted in her seat next to me searching for the words she thought would appease me. “Around ‘e time ye came back from Tortuga. I though’ ‘e told ye.”

“No. He didn’t.”

“Oh.” That’s it? ‘Oh’? That’s all I get?

“Why?”

“I think ye should be askin’ ‘im yerself.” But I don’t want to, that’s why I asked you.

It seems to me that you are the one that needs a drink.

That, my little mind urchin, is a wonderful idea.

~~~~~~~~~~ ~

It took a considerable amount of persuasion on my part, but I was able to argue (hmmm, 'argue' sounds odd here...perhaps 'convince' or 'coerce') Annamaria (Anna-Maria)into fetching me a decent amount of rum from the ship’s supply. Making it clear that I had every intention of having the largest hangover the crew had ever seen, I asked her to join me in my ‘celebration of life’. There was little protest on her part, though I thought it best to warn her of my previous aboration for the foul substance.

“It is time I start(ed) acting like a pirate, therefore I must drink like one.”

“Ah, a very a’mdirable aspiration. Can’t be havin’ us a pirate tha’ doesn’t fully appreciate the wonders of the drink!” Annamaria(Anna-Maria) grinned at me as she helped me out of bed. We had waited until nightfall to conduct our ‘celebration’ and were now headed toward the deck of the Black Pearl.

This will be a night to remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

“And then ‘e said ‘But that doesn’t explain why I’m wearin’ ‘is pants’.” Annamaria (Anna-Maria) nearly dropped the bottle she was holding, too busy laughing at her antics to notice.

It had been a good few hours since we had started in on the rum and both of us were close to having enough alcohol in our systems to make us catatonic.('...both of us were close to being catatonic, we had so much alcohol in our systems'...i dunno, the other just doesn't seem to flow as well as the stuff around it) It didn’t bother us, though it did amaze me that we had not drawn any attention with the amount of noise we were making. I had decided to voice this concern with my companion, but was cut short by a very loud and very irritating noise.

“What are ye two doing?!” Jack looked absolutely irate. I was unsure if it was because we were drunk or if it was because I was spending more time with someone other than him.

“We’re celemebrate… celebramate… we’re cemblebregate… Would ye like some rum?” It seemed that my mouth wasn’t taking the orders my brain was giving it.

“No, and ye shouldn’t be drinking. Yer injured.” Jack gave me a stern look before glancing at Annamaria (Anna-Maria), “And yer no help.”

“Oh come on, Captain. The boy’s entitled to a little bi’ o’ fun.”

“Yeah!” I giggled as Jack turned to look at me. I had no idea that I would lose all control of what my brain tells my mouth not to say. (ok, that last sentence was a little shakey...consider revising your wording completely there eg 'I had no idea i would lose all control over that function in my brain that stops me from saying things i shouldn't'...read your version out loud a couple of times, see what you think)The sudden look of confusion on Jack’s face was all I needed to send my giggles into a full-fledged laughing fit.

“You won’t be laughing when ye wake up in the mornin’!” He waved his hands at me as if it would help the words sink in.

“Who said that I’m going to wake up in the morning?”

I have no intentions of getting out of bed tomorrow.

“I did! I’m the captain and I say you’re getting’ up!” Jack eyed me smugly as he allowed the words to settle in.

“Wait… but that means… I don’t think… I’m not gonna!”

There. I put my foot down.

“I don’t remember giving you a choice in the matter.” He had become calm, taking advantage of his sudden power over the conversation.

“But… that’s not fair!”

Why do I have the feeling that I’m wasting my breath?

Jack raised a brow, a smirk forming on his suddenly mischievous features. “It isn’t fair? Why should it be?”

“Why do you have to be so… so difficult?”

“Pirate.” He made a gesture to show that the word was a reference to his person.

“What does being difficult have to do with being a pirate?” My inquiry was sincere. “Unless of course, pirates are supposed to act like they have their sword’s sheath (sword sheath) rammed up their arse.”

“There is nothin’ shoved up me arse!” Annamaria had bellowed the comment loud enough to cause even the smallest creature to run for safety.

“I said unless.”

“Oh, my mistake.” Without a second thought, Annamaria turned her attention one of the rum bottles at her side.

More than slightly confused, Jack tried to elaborate on his previous statement. “Pirates have to be difficult. What fun would ther (there) be in lettin’ people think ye can be swayed easily?”

“Aren’t pirates supposed to drink as well?”

All of the evidence points to that conclusion.

“NOT if they can’t hold their liquor.” The statement was made with an air of finality. Turning to make his way back to his quarters, he paused only for a moment. “You’d better be in yer bed within the next few minutes. I’ll be waiting.” He continued to walk away from the two stumbling forms that were trying their best to stand.

“You’ll be waiting in my bed? I’ll be right there.” Annamaria cackled at the misinterpretation while Jack shook his head and kept walking.

Tonight is definitely going to be a night to remember. ( I would perhaps consider putting a break before this last sentence, simply because it’s such a dramatic change in tense. I mean I does work the way it is and most people probably won’t even notice. up to you really)

~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~




wonderful, i LOVE your Will, no, really, i do! Remember to be constant with how you spell Anna-Maria, there ar a few different ways but stick to one, eh? i think that's all. suggestion and spelling stuff are in brackets once again. I think this community works well...happy easter and all that. look forward to the next bit!

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deathkillsme
04:58 am
This feels so familiar. The tug of consciousness as it pulls me from this dreamless sleep. I want to stay in that darkness forever, but they aren’t letting me. I can hear Anna-Maria’s voice again, just like before. The only difference is that this time I know what I’m waking up to.

It seems useless.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well ‘s about time ye woke up.”

Your concern is overwhelming.

“How long was I out for this time?”

As opposed to last time, just in case you didn’t pick up on that.

“Since last night. Ye gave us quite a scare. Had a professional take a look at ye. The doc said ye would be fine with some rest. Didn’t go into much detail about what was wrong with ye. Just let me know if ye start coughing up blood again. Oh, and yer shoulder was dislocated.”

“Well I would like to know what goes on with my body, even if some crackpot doctor is the one telling me.”

“He’s not ‘ere. He left during the night. Was the only one that we could find in such a hurry that wouldn’t go to the authorities.” Anna-Maria sighed, she knew she wasn’t going to get very far at the moment.

“Gena… she’s dead?” My voice was void of emotion, probably because the rest of me was as well.

“Aye.” She gave a sigh filled with sadness. I had forgotten how close the two had gotten in such a short time. It must have been nice to have another woman to talk to after both had been surrounded by men and imbeciles for so long.

“And Alex?” He lost his best friend, his only friend.

“He’s taking it rather hard.”

I would think so.

There was a shuffling noise coming from the corner of the room. Jack had been listening from a chair hidden in the shadows.

“Jack.” I nodded at him in a less than friendly greeting.

He looked at me, showing about as much emotion as I felt at the moment. “I have to talk to you. About the letter.” He sounded so sure of himself.

“Sure, why not? It’s not like I have somewhere to be.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack sent Anna-Maria out of the room, leaving us alone together.

“This didn’t work out the way I had planned.”

Nothing ever does.

Jack’s eyes stared at me coldly. It wasn’t the Jack I was used to. “You were saying goodbye.” I nodded. “I thought you were going to kill yourself.”

“It was a possibility.”

“Is it still?” He stared at me, trying to probe my thoughts.

“Yes.” I replied confidently, this time I knew the answer and I wasn’t afraid to give it.

“Why? You promised you wouldn’t leave me.” Jack had stopped trying to dig into my mind and was now looking through me.

“And what did you do to me? You made me feel. I let you. Then you hurt me, not even a few moments after.”

The truth is so much easier.

“I’m sorry.” He’s words were barely audible.

“It’s too late for that.”

He was hurt by that comment. I didn’t care. I wanted him to feel what I did that day. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Don’t worry. You don’t have to. There is nothing to fix.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Are you done talking to him?

I had hoped you were gone.

No such luck.

I don’t rely on luck.

Isn’t that interesting? So, how has life been treating you?

Considering I wouldn’t be alive if I had listened to you, it’s still pointless.

Are you reconsidering?

I guess. Don’t push me, I’ll decide on my own.

All right. Does this mean you’re not angry with me anymore?

Of course I’m angry with you. You tried to use me to get what you want.

It wasn’t what I wanted, it was what we wanted. To be free. I thought you understood that.

I’ll never be free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Stop looking at me like that.” It really is annoying when you do that. Foul pirate.

You are a pirate.

I’m sorry, did you want to come out here and say something?

Well actually…

NO! Don’t even think about it.

“I’m only trying to help you, Will.” I forgot Jack was even here.

“Would you stop saying that! Really, it is quite irritating.”

Jack looked at me for a moment before lowering his head and raising his brow. “I don’t know what else to say to you. I just want things to be the way they were.”

Something’s different. What is it?

Don’t you love the smell of rum in the morning?

Would you please refrain from interrupting my thoughts? No, I do not love the smell of rum in the morning, especially when someone reeks of it.

Oh, and who would that be?

Who else? I can smell the alcohol from over…

At a loss for words my loquacious one?

So he would like things to be the way they were. “So would I Jack. So would I.”

~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

“Well, ‘ow much does this ‘urt?” AnnaMaria poked the large bruise on my stomach, causing me to cringe from the pain.

“Wonderful Never better. It always felt like someone just impaled me with a large dinner knife.”

Smirking, she continued looking over my unclothed torso. “It ‘s lookin’ much better, if I must be sayin’.”

“Must you?” It doesn’t feel like it is getting any better. “So, when did Jack stop drinking?” Right to the point.

Annamaria shifted in her seat next to me searching for the words she thought would appease me. “Around ‘e time ye came back from Tortuga. I though’ ‘e told ye.”

“No. He didn’t.”

“Oh.” That’s it? ‘Oh’? That’s all I get?

“Why?”

“I think ye should be askin’ ‘im yerself.” But I don’t want to, that’s why I asked you.

It seems to me that you are the one that needs a drink.

That, my little mind urchin, is a wonderful idea.

~~~~~~~~~~ ~

It took a considerable amount of persuasion on my part, but I was able to argue Annamaria into fetching me a decent amount of rum from the ship’s supply. Making it clear that I had every intention of having the largest hangover the crew had ever seen, I asked her to join me in my ‘celebration of life’. There was little protest on her part, though I thought it best to warn her of my previous aboration for the foul substance.

“It is time I start acting like a pirate, therefore I must drink like one.”

“Ah, a very a’mdirable aspiration. Can’t be havin’ us a pirate tha’ doesn’t fully appreciate the wonders of the drink!” Annamaria grinned at me as she helped me out of bed. We had waited until nightfall to conduct our ‘celebration’ and were now headed toward the deck of the Black Pearl.

This will be a night to remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

“And then ‘e said ‘But that doesn’t explain why I’m wearin’ ‘is pants’.” Annamaria nearly dropped the bottle she was holding, too busy laughing at her antics to notice.

It had been a good few hours since we had started in on the rum and both of us were close to having enough alcohol in our systems to make us catatonic. It didn’t bother us, though it did amaze me that we had not drawn any attention with the amount of noise we were making. I had decided to voice this concern with my companion, but was cut short by a very loud and very irritating noise.

“What are ye two doing?!” Jack looked absolutely irate. I was unsure if it was because we were drunk or if it was because I was spending more time with someone other than him.

“We’re celemebrate… celebramate… we’re cemblebregate… Would ye like some rum?” It seemed that my mouth wasn’t taking the orders my brain was giving it.

“No, and ye shouldn’t be drinking. Yer injured.” Jack gave me a stern look before glancing at Annamaria, “And yer no help.”

“Oh come on, Captain. The boy’s entitled to a little bi’ o’ fun.”

“Yeah!” I giggled as Jack turned to look at me. I had no idea that I would lose all control of what my brain tells my mouth not to say. The sudden look of confusion on Jack’s face was all I needed to send my giggles into a full-fledged laughing fit.

“You won’t be laughing when ye wake up in the mornin’!” He waved his hands at me as if it would help the words sink in.

“Who said that I’m going to wake up in the morning?”

I have no intentions of getting out of bed tomorrow.

“I did! I’m the captain and I say you’re getting’ up!” Jack eyed me smugly as he allowed the words to settle in.

“Wait… but that means… I don’t think… I’m not gonna!”

There. I put my foot down.

“I don’t remember giving you a choice in the matter.” He had become calm, taking advantage of his sudden power over the conversation.

“But… that’s not fair!”

Why do I have the feeling that I’m wasting my breath?

Jack raised a brow, a smirk forming on his suddenly mischievous features. “It isn’t fair? Why should it be?”

“Why do you have to be so… so difficult?”

“Pirate.” He made a gesture to show that the word was a reference to his person.

“What does being difficult have to do with being a pirate?” My inquiry was sincere. “Unless of course, pirates are supposed to act like they have their sword’s sheath rammed up their arse.”

“There is nothin’ shoved up me arse!” Annamaria had bellowed the comment loud enough to cause even the smallest creature to run for safety.

“I said unless.”

“Oh, my mistake.” Without a second thought, Annamaria turned her attention one of the rum bottles at her side.

More than slightly confused, Jack tried to elaborate on his previous statement. “Pirates have to be difficult. What fun would ther be in lettin’ people think ye can be swayed easily?”

“Aren’t pirates supposed to drink as well?”

All of the evidence points to that conclusion.

“NOT if they can’t hold their liquor.” The statement was made with an air of finality. Turning to make his way back to his quarters, he paused only for a moment. “You’d better be in yer bed within the next few minutes. I’ll be waiting.” He continued to walk away from the two stumbling forms that were trying their best to stand.

“You’ll be waiting in my bed? I’ll be right there.” Annamaria cackled at the misinterpretation while Jack shook his head and kept walking.

Tonight is definitely going to be a night to remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Current Mood: tiredtired

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